Category Archives: Life

Do You?

The overall backlash that the neo-nazi, white supremacy, alt-right and KKK groups have received is amazing. However! And I’m sorry to be this person in the room … however some of you super righteous white folks that condemn white supremacy actually participate in upholding certain structures that empower these groups.

So let’s play a little game! Answer the following questions and see where you fall when it comes to certain everyday scenarios.

You may not be a white supremacist, but …

1. – do you clutch your purse when a black man walks by?
2. – do you assume that a group of black kids are up to no good?
3. – do you get annoyed at the presence of a group of black women because you think they’re loud and obnoxious?
4. – do you question a black cashier and ask for the manager?
5. – do you get shocked when the black cashier is the manager?
6. – do you think black people are stealing your jobs?
7. – do you think black kids go to college for free?
8. – do you think black culture is non existent?
9. – do you think hip hop is not real music?
10. – do you think black people are aggressive?
11. – do you think black people be “doing too much”?
12. – do you think black parents are abusive as a whole?
13. – do you think people would look better if they had lighter skin?
14. – do you think natural hair is exotic?
15. – do you touch black peoples hair, skin, etc in amazement?
16. – do you say the n word when around your white peers? EVER?
17. – do you second guess your black coworkers opinion or suggestion for no legitimate reason?
18. – do you think black people are ruining this country?
19. – do you let Uncle Bill talk about black people at thanksgiving?
20. – do you say every pretty black girl looks like Beyoncé?
21. – do you tell black people they look like the one other black person you know?
22. – do you rant on Facebook about injustices done to black people but not live by example?
23. – do you demonstrate the white savior complex?
24. – do you think little black kids need white teachers?
25. – do you ignore the governments’ historical and current plots to destroy and control the black communities?
26. – do you make fun of black peoples names?
27. – do you ask “well what did he/she do?” when you hear about a black person being shot and killed by a police officer?
28. – do you say all lives matter?
29. – do you argue that black on black crime is a real issue in the black community in response to BLM?
30. – do you reminisce about going to a “dangerous” inner city when you were young and rebellious?
31. – do you teach in an inner city but know you’d never send your child to school there?
32. – do you get drunk and start using racial slurs?
33. – do you ignore the fact that inner cities are typically in run down areas with poor air quality and high exposure to chemicals?
34. – do you tell people you’re not racist because you have black friends?
35. – do you say “I don’t see color, I’m colorblind” or “love has no color”?
36. – do you think black people are lazy?
37. – do you think black women abuse government assistance?
38. – do you think the confederate flag and related statues are just a part of American history?
39. – do you refer to MLK when you talk about successful black people because he’s the only one you know?
40. – do you judge all black people based on the actions of one black person?
41. – do you think the idea of cultural appropriation is taking it too far?
42. – do you refer to black people or neighborhoods as ghetto?
43. – do you think President Obama was the black community’s reparations?
44. – do you think black people are stuck on the past? i.e. slavery and segregation
45. – do you truly believe that the orange man is responsible for our country being divided?
46. – do you empathize more with the victims of the holocaust than victims of slavery?
47. – do you think black history month is good enough?
48. – do you think it’s wrong that BET exists?
49. – do you grow tired of black people saying they’re oppressed?
50. – do you negatively judge a black person because they’ve done well for themselves?
51. – do you think black men are criminals that’s why a lot of them are in prison?
52. – do you think racism is old and dead?

Oh believe me I have more questions, but if you can answer yes to any ONE of these questions then you sir/ma’am are apart of a larger system that oppresses black people. This isn’t just for whites, this is for all races. The point I’m trying to make is that if you want to be a part of changing America then you need to check yourself first.

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7 Year Plan Update

Last year I wrote down my 7 year plan which includes the things that I want to accomplish by age 31. I wrote this list to keep me motivated and focused as I maneuver throughout life.

And since life is ever changing and I’m having a sweet baby girl this fall, I have decided to edit the plan and see what I’ve accomplished so far ✅. This allows me to praise myself just a bit and keep pushing forward.

I’ve also added some new goals and chosen specific ones that I want to achieve by the end of 2018 🔅. This way I won’t get overwhelmed with trying to accomplish all of my goals at once.

Personal Goals
✅ buy a car (my baby Snow)
– maintain a healthy body weight 🔅
– grow my locs to my shoulders 🔅
– eat mostly vegetables
✅ start a blog (which you’re reading right now)
✅ get a certificate in a trade or skill (certificate in Critical Issues in Urban Education and I’m currently enrolled at UMass)
– find a church home
✅ practice positivity (yoga and reading the Bible)
✅ relocate outside of NOLA
– relocate outside of CT

Financial Goals
– $15,000 saved in savings & investments
– lay the foundation of my own business 🔅

Fun Goals
– zip lining
– snorkeling
– visiting another country for 3 weeks to 2 months
– hiking somewhere famous 🔅
– camping with friends
– vacation with sisters and boyfriends
– visit Jamaica
– visit Greece
– visit Dominican Republic
– visit Virgin Islands
– visit DC 🔅
– visit Washington state 🔅

Family Goals
– long term relationship/engagement
– marriage
– moving in together
– buying a home/building a tiny home
✅ have kids (she’s almost here)

If you ever feel stuck or you’re just a list person like me I highly recommend that you create a long term plan and start checking off your accomplishments. Believe me, it feels great!

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Surprise! I’m …

PREGNANT! 33 weeks pregnant to be exact.

I’m definitely one of those people who likes to hold my information close to myself. I barely even wanted to tell family  … not because I was ashamed but because it was my business to tell. But anyone who has had their parents’ first grandchild knows that the news seems to find its way out anyway.

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This was me trying to be in control of loose lips 😂

After telling family, there was the whole debacle of when to share the news on social networks. A part of me wanted to post weekly updates because they were cute and pregnant women received a lot of love from their online friends. But there was another part of me that didn’t really care about that. Again, I’m a private person. So I settled on a compromise! I decided that I would finally make my mother to be status public when I completed my maternity photo shoot. And I stuck to that.

The amount of love and support I received was overwhelming, in a good way! I’m sure there’s plenty of moms to be who wonder if they should share their pregnancy with the public and honestly it’s a personal choice! Do whatever makes you comfortable.

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I’m not sure how much I’ll share with the world after giving birth – who knows, this blog could easily turn into a mommy blog. I guess we’ll just wait and see!

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You Ain’t Shi*

Why do women base their worth on their ability to get a man?

Obviously, not all women do this but I believe that all woman HAVE done this.

Is it because we’re taught from young ages that our purpose in life is to marry and have children? And then at every family event from age 21+ we’re asked “where’s your boyfriend?” and “when are you going to have kids?”

Or is it because every time we show one of our few imperfections (💁🏾) we’re told “and THAT’S why you’re single!” Which forces us to begin doubting ourselves and wanting to change things about ourselves to become more attractive.

I’m not sure where it stems from, but I know that it’s very real. We’re all victims of it and quite honestly we probably perpetuate it as well. Biblical women and even characters from early and current writers battle this same narrative – it’s like this nagging thought that you aren’t shit unless you can get a good man to take care of you. (Which I don’t agree with!)

I often think about my current 5 year plan and some of my goals include the words boyfriend, commitment and marriage. So I wonder if when I’m 30, and potentially still single, will I feel unsuccessful? Or will I actively try hard these next few years to achieve these relationship goals, placing even more pressure on myself to be seen, to be attractive, to be considered wifey material?

Honestly …. I wish I could say probably not but I know that marriage is a big time goal of mine and nothing’s wrong with that. BUT what would be wrong is if I mentally beat myself up because a relationship failed, no one approached me at the bar, or because I’m home alone on a Friday night.


You know, even if I don’t get married by the time I’m 30 I’m still a worthy human being. I’m still the shit regardless!

So whatever your relationship status or relationship goals, remind yourself that you are the shit and will always be the shit! You don’t need a man to know your worth. And in the same breath, there’s nothing wrong with wanting a man either! Do you boo!

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Summer Reading, Book #1

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It’s been a long time since I finished reading a book for pleasure; mostly because work was super demanding and robbed me of my free time, but also because I lost touch with my nerdy side. However, this summer I vow to read and update you with all of my literature adventures.

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The Silent Girls, by Eric Rickstad

IMG_4217.JPGOmgggggg! This book is absolutely amazing. If you’re into mysteries and suspense plots, I highly recommend this read. The story line captures you; I couldn’t put the book down and finished the 300+ pager in a day. By the end of the book, I found myself gripping the pages tightly, reading hastily, and screaming because I couldn’t believe the MANY plot twists.

The book follows a private investigator in the cold of Vermont as he assists local detectives in solving a missing persons case. Sounds simple, right? But it doesn’t end there. It turns out that there are other missing girls, and everyone is involved and no one can be trusted! But not in a predictable way; this book takes many twists and turns and leaves no story untold.

The author, Eric Rickstad, uses descriptive language to paint each scene and makes the characters come alive. As I finished each chapter, I felt like I was watching the story unfold on TV. His captivating language pulled me in and left me wanting more! I can’t wait to read the sequel “The Name of Dead Girls“.

Rating:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I purchased “The Silent Girls” at Barnes and Noble.

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What Color Makes You Happy?

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Years ago this boy I was seeing at the time asked me “What color makes you happy?” 

Initially his question caught me off guard. I was use to the whole “what’s your favorite color and food” questionnaire from boys – you know those basic conversations – so I kinda just sat there froze.

#1 my brain was like “mmm mmm mmm this man is deep!” 😍

And, #2 I had never thought about colors in the sense of emitting feelings and emotions.

So it took me a while to answer. I closed my eyes and I ran all the colors of the rainbow through my head. Then I imagined myself on a day where everything was gray and dull. I asked myself, “what’s the one thing, that if it had color, would make this day 100 times brighter?” And that’s when I knew.

The color that brings me pure joy and happiness is green.

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I was asked this question nearly 5 years ago and it’s something that hasn’t escaped me. On days when I’m feeling lost and depressed, I go out into nature because green plants and trees center, calm, and balance me. Before that color conversation with “Mr. Deep” I didn’t know why I liked being outdoors a lot but now I do.

** It may also explain why I like money so much 💵😝 JK

But honestly, if you’ve never thought about what colors bring joy to your life I suggest that you do. It’ll put a lot into perspective and may even help you manage your mood during your most shittiest of days. With our day to day stresses and depressions, it’s important to add slivers of happiness where we can.

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xoxo,

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Find Your Peace, Wherever You Are

During the past two years I have really grown to know myself. Being away from close friends and family who are my anchors has forced me to rely on myself for solice.

I’m not going to lie, some days I get so overwhelmed and I stay in bed from dawn to dusk. But other days I’m committed to finding joy even in the darkest of times. When my anxiety isn’t overwhelming, I can muster up the energy to get out and explore.

My peace of choice is the outdoors; I love to be surrounded by nature, whether in a park, roaming through a forest or relaxing on a beach. Something about fresh air and greenery brings my soul true peace.

Lately I’ve been struggling with my emotions and balancing a lot of major life changes. All of it began to wear me down and I let it. But this past weekend was different. I woke up at 7 am on a mission to find peace! Without much thought, or hesitation, I drove to the Couturie Forest in New Orleans’ City Park. I had been here once before, and somehow my soul just knew it was what I needed. I walked around for about 30 minutes and allowed nature to clear my mind. I left feeling 100x lighter and knew I’d be back tomorrow.

Here is where I’ve found a little peace in this robust city! Check out some nice pictures from my excursion below:

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Trying times are just that – trying. When you finally have the desire to do something… go for it! Go out and find a piece of peace.

Warmly,
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